No matter what business you’re in or how successful you are, you should have mentors and you should be actively mentoring people who are trying to learn from you.
I have been fortunate enough to have picked up both mentors and mentees over the years and it was an active process that has helped me immeasurably as a digital marketing professional over the years.
Unfortunately however, in my opinion, the topic of mentoring is misunderstood.
What is a mentor?
The dictionary defines a mentor as “an experienced and trusted adviser.” I believe that while that is technically accurate, it’s a minimalist definition of a very important word.
A lot of professionals have an older person who will meet with them for lunch or dinner once in a while, give them some tips and shoot the sh$t for a little bit. That in my opinion is not a mentor. That’s an older professional who will meet with you once in a while.
The analogy is somewhat like meeting a member of the opposite sex for lunch or dinner once in a while and saying that’s a boyfriend/girlfriend. That’s not how it works.
My definition of a mentor
My definition of a mentor is I believe a little more accurate for what most of us need. A mentor is “an experienced and trusted adviser who is INVESTED in your success.” the operative word here is INVESTED.
A real mentor is someone who has bought into your goals and dreams on your behalf, is an advocate and would be PERSONALLY invested in the outcome of your journey, one way or another. Basically, a mentor is a personal connection to your goals.
Real mentors are hard to find because it requires WORK on their end and the truth is, most people are busy, they usually only have time for things that are really important.
So, here are four tips to help you find and approach a mentor.
Understand your strengths and weaknesses
You need to be really honest with yourself and understand what you’re good at and where you need improvement. If you’re great at marketing but suck at sales, you should be spending time trying to find seasoned sales professionals to learn from.
While it’s awesome to network and meet as many professionals as you can (“you never know”), since time is limited, you need to be efficient with your outreach.
Understand your goals
Where do you want to be long term? Where are you in your journey and what questions do you have about getting to the end zone? If you don’t know or haven’t given this serious thought, how the heck can anyone help you?
Without a clear sense of direction, you will keep meeting well meaning and sincere people who will give you advice that will swing you back and forth and leave you no better off than when you started. Not their fault, it’s yours for not having a goal.
Communicate clearly
Share the points above with someone you want to mentor you so that it’s clear how they can add value. This has a bunch of benefits.
First, it shows them that you are a serious professional who thinks things through. Second, it gives them a clear picture of who you are and what you are looking for so they can start thinking of a roadmap they can share with you early.
Third, it gives them the opportunity to sincerely say no if they’re not a good fit. Maybe they can refer you to someone who can be a better guide for you.
Be respectful
If that person agrees to meet with you, they are doing YOU the favor. Be grateful. Send emails thanking them. Pay attention to what they say whether or not you agree.
Don’t argue with that person but try and raise your points or objections respectfully. Once again YOU need them, not the other way around.
That doesn’t mean you have to do what they say, after all you are ultimately going to do whatever YOU decide. It does mean that you should make sure they feel like they were heard and their input was valuable.
Make it easy
In marketing, one of the ways to get someone to review your products (and hopefully endorse them) is to make it easy. Provide a writeup of the product, images and everything they need to share it. This is a more effective way of getting your product or service reviewed.
Likewise, for a mentor, do your homework and make things easy. Offer to drive out to meet near where they are. Offer to buy lunches or dinners. Provide a clear synopsis of what you want to discuss.
Give them credit whenever you can. Show that you are someone worth endorsing and mentoring and try and make it a no-brainer for them to want to partner with you for your success.
The bottom line
Finding a mentor is actually like finding a job. You have to do the research and be focused to find and keep that person’s attention. If you treat the process as seriously as it deserves to be treated, you will see results.
Let me know what your experience has been with this in the comments below.